If we were having coffee today I’d sadly tell you that LadyBird, our dog, had passsd away.
It’s actually been almost three weeks but it’s been a hard thing to share. Thanks for the condolences.
She was a big dog, about 100 pounds, so at over 15 years old it wasn’t unexpected. She had slowed down considerably the last few months and it was even worse in her last couple of weeks.
We’ve started to get over the initial sudden shock of her passing. Now it is the little things. Like walking down the pet food aisle … we still have cats … and turning to the dog food and stopping mid-turn. All the usually “going out” times are still a minor struggle, especially coming back from shopping or something when in the past taking her out would be the first thing on my mind when I got home (at her age she couldn’t wait too long between outings).
I had some “jingle bells” attached to her coller so I could hear her getting up, especially in the middle of the night. I keep expecting to hear them, but they aren’t there. Feeding time is a totally different routine. I keep looking at the empty spot on the living room floor where she spent most of her time, expecting her to be there. Even the cats avoided that spot for the longest time.
These and dozens of other minor rememberences will linger, I know. The bigger ones will never go away. She was 100 pounds of pure love.
I guess I’ll end with my favorite prayer which at first sounds like a joke but … well, it isn’t: “Lord, help me to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.”
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Thomas Fenske is a writer, living in North Carolina. More information on his novels and cookbook can be found at http://thefensk.com